BYU Zoom Soaking

Saving Your Purity For Zack Morris

Transcript

SPEAKER_08 0:01

Fire the hole. We are back. Degeneration Podcast. We're in uh we got an upgraded studio wise, and my parents are in Utah. My dad's visiting his second family. They brought my mom along for the ride. Yeah, those Mormons know how to pop them out. Dude, what if you found out 426 episodes in that I'm a Mormon? A proud Mormon. Um, I would be asking if we could enroll at BYU online. Oh yeah. Dude, BYU Online, can you still get like elite soaking just from being an online soaking? Do you think they look down on you?

SPEAKER_03 0:33

You soak with your TA in the in the message box.

SPEAKER_08 0:36

Zoom soaking. You're just like, can I can I get a C? Show me a little, show me a little uh, what's the C? Oh, the grade.

SPEAKER_10 0:44

Can I get a C and they're like, oh well, you have to you gotta move your computer back and forth. Let me just move my computer until I can.

SPEAKER_08 0:53

If someone installs like a uh PlayStation Rumble pack, like an N64 fucking rumble pack. Oh, that's it. You're sober.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Can I we're soaking now? What if I take the same physics that I use to impregnate my future wife and I apply it to increasing my grade point average?

SPEAKER_08 1:11

Dude, yeah, being like just like uh manipulating your grades from Zoom soaking would be great. I I'd hire that guy immediately. You're just you're like your Zoom. I bet you I fucking I bet people give I wonder if there's people out there that give like Zoom heads, really good Zoom heads. Great Zoom head and or like classes on how to like dominate in Zoom. Like Alpha, you're Zoom maxing.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Zoom maxing like your your community college class, BYU online?

SPEAKER_03 1:41

No, no, here oh professor, I I'm gonna need you to uh can you wind back 60 seconds in your speech? Back and to the left.

SPEAKER_08 1:48

I'm gonna need you to re- How do you assert yourself? How do you assert yourself in Zoom classes? Easily. You chest out, chest out, and you look them in the eye. You go, you go, you you clearly, you like soft eye like clear direction your eye, you're looking back and forth. You're like a lifeguard. You're freezing people out. Yeah, you're freezing. You do that in your lift guard. You're not you're not just if they drown, they drown. You have to have that end. Turn your head and your eyes. It's not just the eyes. You you're scanning the room. It's like you're like scanning the room, you're like eyes, you're seducing the room, you're controlling the pace, you're controlling the flow. And you don't talk. You just you're in constant movement with your head. Yeah. And when you answer questions, you type. Yes. And you you look. You gotta stick, you gotta let him see the iris. You look to like gauge the responses of your classmates. You're you're you've gotta be dilating, like, motherfucker. Like, this guy's on Coke. You get on Coke. I was just gonna say you online. You put your finger over the hole. Oh shit! It's Dominic and Nico. Oh yeah, our former uh associate. Oh, I got it. If you're listening, brother. I hope you're doing alright. I hope those turtlenecks are fitting. Do you think he wears like tight condoms? Do you think he wears? I think he knows how to open it. Do you think his package? They're hard to open, right? I don't wear condoms, I don't know. Do you think his PJs at night are turtleneck? Dude, he's in the two footies. Like his buttons. Dude, he was like not allowed to be our boss and he was wearing footies. What's he happens on this fight? Yeah, didn't he wear football? Oh I missed it. Oh, it's uh who's Clark? Oh shit. Oh. Uh that's a double attack.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

Oh, no, that's a nation at checked him!

SPEAKER_08 3:32

Who the fuck is that guy? But he's an idiot. He didn't even Oh, this is a great radio.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

I was gonna say, if you're listening, we have a we've got a we've got a live feed of the Nuggets, hopefully, go into a game. That's such bullshit. He went over so easy. I guess he's a big guy.

SPEAKER_08 3:49

I guess a big thing. Joke is just good, man. You see his brothers? Yeah, his brothers are fucking big. You'd not be amazing to have an MVP level athlete as your brother, and you can just be an asshole. That's like a great job. My brother really feared me, but he has the arm for it. You're the heel of the family.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Yeah, being a heel in an MVP level family. And you know how hard it is to be a heel, like, with Jackson Mahomes?

SPEAKER_05 4:13

Like his dad is like a degenerate alcoholic.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Like brother's a piece of shit. Yeah. So like I think uh Mahomes could kill his wife and his whole and not family annihilation. Mahomes family annihilation, he still wouldn't be the worst Mahomes.

SPEAKER_08 4:27

Does he have kids?

SPEAKER_02 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

He's got like two or three of that line.

SPEAKER_08 4:30

Do you think he would throw him to kill him? He throw, he throws him off like 55. Here's a 60-yard pass, here's a size sidearm out of the fucking out of the sunroof of a sonata. Side arms him. He's like, fuck, where's Kelsey when you need him? He does. He's swerving it from lane to lane instead of a normal sunroof spike off a bridge.

SPEAKER_03 4:52

Pew 60-yard fucking die. Right into the overpass.

SPEAKER_08 4:58

Just smashes the top of the arch. Would they cry on it, Patrick? And their daughters look like black. We know that next great quarterback class isn't done.

SPEAKER_09 5:09

Here comes the next WWE superstar. Oh my gosh. Record-breaking contract, two million dollars.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

No disrespect to women. It's just they don't make as much as no sports.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

No one watches it. I mean, they watch it now a bit, but it's like they need to get they they need to make it easier to gamble on for the casual fan.

SPEAKER_10 5:31

Is there? There's not that many women's sports that's a great point, because my immediate thought is how many women's sports out there can you activate? You can bet on a lot of them. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 5:40

Well then that was that was kind of where I was calling with it.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

I remember an original like older drafts of my script, like we had of the main character uh betting on taking the over because they they were linked up on them. He got a menstrual tip off Twitter.

SPEAKER_08 5:55

He's like, there's no way you can't guard shit when your Sorry Five's all on the flow, you know. That's good. It's a good job, but it's like it doesn't fit the story or character anymore. But like But it's funny. It's funny. You're like, I got my I got my nose to the I got my nose to the grapevine. Athlete Midol. There's gotta be. It's it's probably um you just finger yourself.

SPEAKER_05 6:18

You just it's just like oh god.

SPEAKER_10 6:24

You're like, fuck, I'm really performance-enhancing fingering.

SPEAKER_08 6:27

Performance rainbow punching for performance-enhancing drugs for uh for the combine. Before the combine, you're on the you're what if you're like, there's there WNBA Combine? There can you get tickets for that? What do you think it's in a fucking barn? It's in a barn. It's mud wrestling. Oh god. Presented by Might All. Yeah, damn Might All and Tam's X. Why is there a mud wrestling invented the combine?

SPEAKER_10 6:54

We sound like such fucking degenerations.

SPEAKER_08 6:55

Yeah, we're about the what happened to the shuttle run.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

It's just like a grocery how fast they can get the cart down instead of the 40-yard dash.

SPEAKER_08 7:12

They run like a mile four aisle seven.

SPEAKER_05 7:16

Oh, I forgot the go back for the mayonnaise!

SPEAKER_03 7:22

Alright, now let's see how she does around the corner. Uh, it's a tight turn with the cart. Oh, it's got a wobbly wheel. Let's see if she can take it to the end of the aisle.

SPEAKER_08 7:30

Just like, why do we still have it? Just like the MFL NBA, like, you shouldn't have it. If we can do biometrics, who cares about what they're practicing? Can they do it in a game? Has someone motivated them to do it in the game? Have they had the right coaching? Yeah, if you do the supermarket sweep. Dude, that's great. That would be a great.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

I thought for a second you were going back into our serious tangent, and I was like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 7:53

No, supermarket sweep. They're people too. Dude, supermarket sweep women's basketball combine.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

They do, instead of how fast, like, um how fast you like what's a speed drill that they do in a combine? In a men's?

SPEAKER_08 8:07

In a men's. Give me a legit, a legit, a legitimate record of athletic ability. You're a college-level athlete, so I was for I I was a college-level athlete. I sure fucking.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Did I fit the bill while I was in college? No. But did my prior athletic experience, I think, put me in a class of people that I would consider good at the city?

SPEAKER_02 8:31

A C T. Yeah, I did. I did SAT, but I think I was more like I was getting literature off the PSAT.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

My SA or my ACT. When I found out there was like a different test, it's like, wait, hold, hold the phone. You didn't rub. I'm gonna do both of them. Here's the rub. I'm gonna do both. I was gonna average the really control. I'm gonna take the best of both worlds.

SPEAKER_10 8:58

You get a 1680 on the SAT.

SPEAKER_08 9:02

Oh, you can your file in for. You had to do the writing portion. Oh, Mac Woody. Um, I did do the writing portion. And I wrote. How do you get a 1680? Oh yeah, you did the porte. I was really just throwing numbers out. I think at the time. Well, it's because the scale changed. Maybe I outscored you when you had another 800 points to get it. Was it was it on a 2400? I was gonna say, I think at the time it was on a 2400. So I think I got I'll tell you what I got. I think I got in like a 1980. Oh, that's probably pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

It was, it was, and I was I well, it I did like do workshops. Yeah, I made it. You gotta get those numbers up, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Most podcasters took an S.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

God your comment about Nazreed having a horse mouth is so accurate. Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_10 9:53

I'm enjoying the background. The background game Wild W Pot. It's a good light. We're both ADHD enough to be able to like.

SPEAKER_08 10:01

I'm gonna give you that test, but you have to remind me. Wait, I got myself covered. What are you talking about? Oh shit, what were we saying before? We were talking SAT scores. SAT scores. I'm like, oh, whatever. Well, the P SAT scores. That sounds like something I can't make fun of, so it sounds high enough. Do you remember what you got in the writing?

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Writing? No, my math sucked. My math sucked. I remember because it was three scores, and if you did all of it, it was seven, seven, fourteen, twenty. So it might have been out of twenty. No. It's twenty four hundred. I mean, there was a few. 8, 16, no, you're right, because it was 24. The highest you can get each one was 800. 8, 16, 24. And I remember my math in one of them was like low. It was really low.

SPEAKER_08 10:40

It was like, it went from like four.

SPEAKER_10 10:43

Yeah, it was like went from 420, and then it went up to like, I want to say like 510. And then I then I got it up to like it maybe got to 600. I don't think it did. I think it got to like 570.

SPEAKER_08 10:54

So you must have really I had worked, I did well in the other areas. That's good. So you probably got over 650 on the writing part. Yes, for sure. Nice. I did decent. You remember that what were the like the prompts or whatever?

SPEAKER_02 11:05

I remember them being the writing portion.

SPEAKER_10 11:09

I remember not feeling super confident about that area, but I remember getting like decent and I remember it was a stupid prompt.

SPEAKER_08 11:18

It's like getting a B on an essay. Doing over 700 is probably getting like on an SAT writing thing. Like on the fly is probably getting a B B plus on update.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

And I I consider I like I enjoy writing. Like person. Going back to school. Thank you. I don't know. Going back after fucking around at my my first institution, JMU, as much as I did.

SPEAKER_08 11:39

Institution is right. Colleges are institutions, dude.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Yeah, if it's a for-profit fucking, it's not a it's I wouldn't even say scheme, but it's well it wasn't always for-profit, maybe, but like once the feds opened up the uh student loan.

SPEAKER_10 11:52

Yeah, I would say it's for nine out of ten universities.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Yeah, I would say at least you're you're really like the learning, like yeah, it takes place, but it's it's money, money comes first. Like you gotta pay.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

You're paying it's you're paying to learn. Michigan State, where I mean obviously, is uh there's a cultural element to it. Yeah. And it's like it's be it's like being it's a there's a tribal thing that extends beyond the uh you know uh 12 weeks in the fall.

SPEAKER_08 12:20

Right. Like an SAC score.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

And different, I think different schools like I was gonna say different diagrams.

SPEAKER_08 12:28

Different schools might be. It's just MSU and BYU online, but not MSU. BYU online. Oh, so yeah, guess what? Okay, so look at me, look deep into my soul. I assume I did peak at the S on the SAT. Like that was my peak. So what your soul's just achievement-wise, the the AP history test, I got a five on the test. AP history fucking ace the fuck up. I got a two on every AP test I ever took. I got it. I got an I4 and a two. Which was such a calcus. Terrible, terrible use and effort because like actually being like, oh wait, these can actually count. No, but you can place all the white, you should be able to substitute one. Yeah. Like a coupon. I think the only thing I got a three on one. Dude, I'm good at this. I got a three on one. It is a coupon shit. That's right. That is a coupon. You got a you got a one on one of them? Do you remember what it was? It wasn't a one, I got a three on one of them. Nice! That's pretty good, though. And that gave me credit for something. Gave me a little bit of credit. Archery. J.B. Archery Ask me how many credits I have.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

Dude, I took so many credits at JMU that I think I had I had taken. How many did you take? I had taken a full four years, and then I think I had taken like two and a half years.

SPEAKER_08 13:43

You know, if you have to redo them, I don't think it costs credits.

SPEAKER_10 13:47

Within that's all within like five years.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

I had 37 credits my senior year. So I finished in four.

SPEAKER_08 13:55

Yeah. Because like my parents were like, oh, you should probably take it easier sophomore year.

SPEAKER_10 13:58

You're like, eh, I want to finish so bad.

SPEAKER_08 14:01

I had like a two six in my freshman year. But I did have a racquetball course in there at some time. Heavily weighted racquetball course.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

I was I was such a I was just such a bad student. I was too. I wish I had I really granted, I probably wouldn't be the person I am now. Whether that's a better or worse thing, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 14:21

Um but like I don't know. When I really think of like the what ifs in life and a reflection point, or like inflection, sorry. I guess well reflection is just plenty of reflection. I know what fucking reflection is. No, it's not looking back necessarily. Only if it's a rear view mirror. It's still what reflecting is, but inflection. So I bossed it.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

We're both retarded.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Yeah, we're oh Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

I mean, oh gosh, did I say the word? Oh no, the whole episode's ruined. Oh new. You're new. I mean, I'm I'm a I'm a BYU online guy. You know? I'm a BYU.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Well, you know, you're probably qualified to go and kill Tony already, so honestly, I am.

SPEAKER_08 15:06

All you have to do is say like, oh my god, I said the R-word or trans or something about a penis. Yeah. Um where were we? You were gonna guess my my math and reverbal. Which one do you want to guess first?

SPEAKER_03 15:18

I would say math on an 800 scale.

SPEAKER_08 15:20

Yeah, they're on.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

I would say you probably got like a 660.

SPEAKER_08 15:25

Math?

SPEAKER_05 15:26

No.

SPEAKER_08 15:27

Higher or lower? Higher? Yes. Higher. Yes. I would say you probably got like 740. No, 710. Okay. I wasn't too far off the phone. That's what I got on a verbal. Verbal? Uh 700.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Pretty much 710. I got the same on both. What about I mean, I took it my junior year.

SPEAKER_10 15:47

Was it only on a 1600 scale at that point? Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 15:50

Okay. So you did you did you did really solid. Yeah. Yeah. You're probably in like the 90th percentile. I was more probably like the 70 to 75 percentile. Yeah, I think we're both higher than that because I think I don't know, you'd have to look on 1999 SAT percentile. Look it up! I was a we lab! I was a three-year-old. I know, right? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_11 16:13

If you didn't know who's the daddy in this relationship, it's neither of us.

SPEAKER_08 16:17

Uh I don't, I don't, I'm not like scurrying. That was a bug. Oh yeah. That was great.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

That was just a really hard boom. Guy, if if uh again, if you're have been following along live, watching if you if you are listening, if you're listening to this episode and you're also watching the taped recording of Timberwolves and Nuggets. Damn, damn.

SPEAKER_08 16:43

He took that so hard. But he got up. Well, that's Tyus Jones, right? He's like, fuck, that hurt. Dude, Nas Reed.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

You just got hit by a horse.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

You got a fucking stable stable drug, man. No, it's just like it's like the mare that comes in and she just like takes one look at his dick and faints.

SPEAKER_03 17:03

That's what just happened. That's what just happened. Who do you think's got a bigger dick, Nas Reed or Don?

SPEAKER_08 17:10

Definitely Nas Reed. Or our former person? No, or the actual person or Rudy Gobert.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

I think Nas Reed in this.

SPEAKER_08 17:17

Surprisingly good pass from Rudy Gobert there. Great pass, actually. I'm gonna say uh, yeah, Nas Reed has the biggest dick in the NBA. He's got a big old horse cock. You think we could find out? I bet we could just DM him. Be like, yo, you got you got that horse cock? You got that biggest dick. You got that.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

Just put a horse. Dude, he's got the biggest dude. Horse and an eggplant.

SPEAKER_08 17:40

You got that horse eggplant. He goes, you gotta hack Nas for you. He's just gonna reply, IY, uh IYK, YK. If you know, you know. His dick's running the derby this week. He's like, shit, man. I can't be two places at once. If we win this series, I gotta pull out. Only 19 horses running this week. You know who don't you know who don't pull out? Nasreed. Nasreed and then them gays. Them gays. I've been I've been hearing some things on the uh in the in the gay sphere about um the gay sphere. The gay sphere. Um which is really oval. It's really just a couple of the guys I talked to. A couple of guys you were close to. Alright, so we see we brought this. This was a seg. That was my attempt at the end.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

What if I just let you hang with it and just like yeah, you have everything we were planning on talking about, I just let it hang on.

SPEAKER_10 18:34

Yeah, you know, it's something about non-threes, Horses, Nasre, Kentucky Derby, and here we are.

SPEAKER_08 18:42

There we are. Grinder. Grinder. So Grinder is getting into the politics game.

SPEAKER_10 18:45

I thought you were gonna say grinder was gonna get into like the uh salt and pepper game.

SPEAKER_08 18:52

Dude, salt and pepper should do an ad for grinder for no reason. Right, like just bad pun, like advertising, targeted advertising. Hey, what's the salt and pepper song that does push it? Yeah, I was talking about like sexy. I was talking about like the scene. Yeah, I know, I know, that's hilarious. Push it! Push it real push that message to him. Oh my god, push notifications.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Push it.

SPEAKER_10 19:18

Don't forget to turn on those two.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

You can fuck up.

SPEAKER_11 19:23

Fuck a real good.

SPEAKER_05 19:25

Don't forget on Marcel and Nathan on subscribe.

SPEAKER_08 19:37

Every day, that's no end or notification. God damn it. There's gotta be a better way to shorten it. Pushes, pushes, notification.

SPEAKER_10 19:48

He got a message from it's from Esther Bobby.

SPEAKER_05 19:55

He wants to fuck you.

SPEAKER_10 19:59

But only if they're cool about it, uh the bull body. Because they're cool about consent. There's an apper that it's called grinder.

SPEAKER_08 20:15

There's like no there's no like consent dynamics on grinder, because they're just how do you prove that you're just not on here to fuck? Everyone knows you're gonna be able to do that. You're trying to scale up from that was hilarious. What do you scale up to see what's happening?

SPEAKER_10 20:29

What do you scale Grinder too?

SPEAKER_08 20:30

Apparently, political uh they're they're they're doing it. You read the article? I did read the article. You uh play dumb so well. It's like just in general, I do play dumb, though. That was really good. Thanks, man. Um, yeah, grinders like CEOs. I lean into it.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

When I'm happy, I get happy to know a grinder. When you're happy buying elections, when grinders are happy, they're buying elections. The future is grind.

SPEAKER_08 20:55

The future is grinder. If you're not strong junior is gonna be our next president, and he's gonna take grinder money.

SPEAKER_10 21:04

That's a future I do not want to live in.

SPEAKER_08 21:06

I'm gonna live with Barron.

SPEAKER_10 21:07

That's a few years from now. 25 to 30 years is like here's what's gonna happen. Grinder's gonna be in every household, you're gonna suck dick in the morning, you're gonna suck dick at night.

SPEAKER_08 21:19

And you're gonna play you can swipe your fireplace and it's like tracking you. Like who you're laying down in your bare skin rug. Oh my god. Or human skin rug at that point. If we're gonna have grinders gonna be like on your fridge, and you're gonna be like sparpening grinder, smart grinder fridge. You're gonna be getting apple juice.

SPEAKER_04 21:36

You're a child pepper grinder, grinder.

SPEAKER_08 21:39

You're like, hey, hey, every time you twist, right? It like swipes another ten dudes. Dude, I would crush on that. Dude, I think I'm like, not close enough. I think if we four miles, fuck that. Fuck that. You gotta come to me. You want this dick, you gotta come to me. I think that. I would be amazing at that.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

I I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_08 22:02

What if I was actually bad at being like picking guys? I'm really good at picking them straight guys as like a friend thing. I think if also for sex.

SPEAKER_10 22:10

If we really wanted to lean into it, I think that uh we would fucking kill.

SPEAKER_08 22:17

We would be I mean, you've learned you like got a guy that wrote you a lot of erotic poetry as a way to treat his alcoholism. I mean like dude, let me just spiral into something else. Well, it was alcohol as a main. That's gay. I got gay dogs. What else was he hooked on? Um I mean he was gay, so what do you think gay guy's like?

SPEAKER_06 22:35

Uh if you are a listener in Laos, and yes, we know there's gay people in Laos.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Yeah, are they is that legal? Uh in Laos?

SPEAKER_11 22:43

If you are a closity to- What is a Laosh in Laos? You are a closity to gay in the Laos. You can uh tell us your secret. Tell us your secret. And we will not report your two governments.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Like, they're just gonna Laos in Hollywood is making a gay version of a gayer version.

SPEAKER_08 23:00

21 Drum Street. No, big trouble in Little China.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

It's one of the weirdest movies ever.

SPEAKER_08 23:06

Big trouble.

SPEAKER_10 23:09

Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell in Weird Nudity spread throughout film.

SPEAKER_08 23:15

It's AI Kurt Russell. There is great boobs in that movie. Who's boobs? Kurt Russell? Isn't there blond boobies in that? I don't know. It was PG it was like PG right now. I have seen the R-rated version on Encore. Wait, is wait, there's an R-rated version? I've seen it on Encore! It's on Encore! Alright, what's the lamest channel? We'll get back to the uh we're gonna get back to that. That's our that's the core of this episode. It's our Ben and Jerry's core flavor. Wait, so what's the lame jerked out to the lamest channel I've jerked off to? Um, this is interesting because like there's probably what they exist from in either of our HSN shopping network. Not even QBC. The QBC lip gloss. Thinking about adding another pearl necklace to a lady that's already got like five on and is trying to swindle fucking diamonds that are from fucking slave pits in Africa to like 85-year-old women who already have way too many pieces of uranium glass in the city.

SPEAKER_05 24:15

I got Calvin's wedding ring and I rounded in my necklace. Shout out to uranium glass. If we need to sell it, we can want it.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

We're both gonna sell all my parents apparently uranium glasses.

SPEAKER_10 24:31

I'm not hating, I'm appreciating, because it's really fucking cool.

SPEAKER_08 24:34

We were talking before this about just our combined total lack of confidence.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

We're I've had my I have had self-worth and confidence issues forever. I mean me too, but like I mean, grow up in a fucking house full of women, the youngest of four.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

It grinds.

SPEAKER_08 24:51

Speaking of grinding, would it grind me into a pit of despair and self-loathing? Just like a dust resin, like just fucking.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

I'm gonna go fuck my couch in the basement because I don't know what sexuality is.

SPEAKER_08 25:05

I fucked a couch before. Dude, I fucked up. Not the couch hole. Shout out to the Afghan, like, I feel like beat off inside an Afghan.

SPEAKER_10 25:12

Shout out JD Vance, dog. Yo, you are not alone. I'd be fucked, dude. Have you not seen the memes online of JD Vance fucks couches? No, but it's like willingly couch. Like in the analogy you talked about it? Maybe. Maybe he talked about something. I think someone just was like, yo, he looks like he looks like he fucks couches.

SPEAKER_08 25:29

So if you if you have an idea of what I look like in your head and you're like, oh, who's this weird gay guy that fucks couches and is into grinder?

SPEAKER_03 25:37

I don't know, dog. The sofa sofa material of the late 70s, early 80s.

SPEAKER_08 25:45

Oh yeah. Supple soft. You need that you want the like the soft crease, but then the roughness inside the roughness. Because you're like, if I move a quarter of an inch to the left, I will saw my head off. Oh my god. Like, yeah. And it's like the presence of the mindfulness of not get a sliver in your hand.

SPEAKER_10 26:03

Well, then it's like, I think it trains you for the danger zone of what a real vagina is like, you know?

SPEAKER_08 26:08

Yeah, also, also, like, okay. So this is funny. I'll get back to that too. Like my master, like the channel. Alright, let me finish the thread, I guess. I get it?

SPEAKER_03 26:23

Nice. He's all over that shit!

SPEAKER_09 26:25

God knows Fred finishes before I do. I like.

SPEAKER_08 26:29

I last forever.

SPEAKER_09 26:32

1420 out of 1500. Suck my dick and you see me come.

SPEAKER_08 26:36

The only school that rejected me outright is when I got sexually assaulted by a fat chick.

SPEAKER_09 26:41

Yeah, fuck you, UV gay.

SPEAKER_08 26:43

I think it was it was borderline.

SPEAKER_09 26:45

UV A, more like UV gay. Yeah, UV Gay. UVA is a good one. It was UVA, right?

SPEAKER_08 26:50

Yeah, yeah. That was UVA.

SPEAKER_09 26:51

Fuck that, man.

SPEAKER_10 26:52

Shout out to you, bitch. Virginia's cool, but not that school. If they want to fucking dudes in school that aren't on grinder.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

Yeah, I mean, they should also. We're grinder positive. We're very grinder positive.

SPEAKER_08 27:03

If you're fucking dudes without being on grinder, I don't want to talk to you, man. What are you, where were you meeting them? Where are you even meeting? Yeah, what are you asking dudes? Like outright? Like in the wild? You're too. That's amazing. Is that like a challenge? Dude, you just keep asking until you're. Ask the dude to fuck until you find somebody. You're like, yeah, you're just like. There was an episode of Step by Step. Do you remember that show? No. Fuck. Alright, something we're gonna remember. It was like uh wait, describe it, describe it. Okay, Patrick Duffy, Suzanne Summers. They each had kids. Step by step! Okay. B-by- Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

There was the nerdy boy.

SPEAKER_08 27:46

The nerdy boy of uh Suzanne Summers. Like this nerdy fucking white Urkel, basically. D body. And it was there was an episode where he just like what called like every girl in the directory until someone said yes, and then he was like psyched.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

And he's like, And I was like, I took the message.

SPEAKER_08 28:03

And I think that's why I'm gonna get married. It's only because of that. Because I took the message. Who says TV can't teach you nothing? White Steve Urkel taught you how to find love. He's just like, fuck it, I gotta keep going. Oh yeah, that is both pathetic and inspiring, and that is exactly who I am. Um sorry, what the fuck? 1420, 1999! Here's a nice uh Christian Braun has a weird haircut now.

SPEAKER_10 28:28

It's a nice pull of the jewel. Like you're in a 1940.

SPEAKER_08 28:31

Is that the best brand? Like jewel?

SPEAKER_04 28:33

Is it still dope?

SPEAKER_10 28:34

Like you're in a nineteen forties.

SPEAKER_08 28:36

Oh shit, they're gonna tie it!

SPEAKER_04 28:37

Here it comes!

SPEAKER_10 28:38

1940s black and white picture.

SPEAKER_08 28:40

Damn it. Fuck you, Denver. I I will for one, before you get to say whatever you're gonna say, I have something more important to say.

SPEAKER_10 28:47

What?

SPEAKER_08 28:48

I just want to feel like a 1940s like who is who's like dick detective and be in a black and white room. Humphrey Bogart. With smoking a cigarette with like a tight You're not a bogart. With like a tilted brim and beard, you're the guy that bogarts like like somebody else. I'm the guy that is jewelry.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

I'm the guy that's across the table from him, the guy that like just got in trouble for touching kids.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Or no, you're the guy that like you're like the guy in like Chinatown that's like or not Chinatown, but you're the guy in the movie that's like someone's fucking my wife.

SPEAKER_08 29:22

Yeah, you're like a cookie. Oh you're calling me a cuck. God damn it. Well you basically said more succinctly because my dream is not to be a cook.

SPEAKER_10 29:32

My dream is to be, you know, like I want to be a nineteen forties nicotine addict.

SPEAKER_08 29:37

Yeah. I want to be a cool one.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

It was all it was all about the smoke. It wasn't about the cops or the crime.

SPEAKER_08 29:45

It was all those stories were just sound nicer. I want to be a 1940s pedophile. What a great story. Where I just get killed outright. The suburbs were just depending on the community, I'm either celebrated or outright shunned.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

Miles and miles of homes looking the same and boys looking different.

SPEAKER_10 30:06

I want to be, you know what means? For the first time.

SPEAKER_08 30:08

I want to be back in the Boy Scouts when.

SPEAKER_10 30:11

Oh no! I want to be a Boy Scout troop member when they're I want to be a Boy Scout troop member when um when their like barrier of entry to be like a scout master was like anybody.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Is it still what do you have to do now? Do you have to do a background check?

SPEAKER_08 30:29

Um you just have to say you did a background check. Say I don't it's like scouts on or I didn't fuck it.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

You don't even have to have the right number of fingers up. As long as you don't have the right the right number of fingers in a boy, which is zero.

SPEAKER_10 30:46

My my absence, my absence of a response was because I was laughing.

SPEAKER_03 30:51

I know you're laughing. He does he's like, Scouts on it. He's holding up one finger, he's like, oh, sorry. I mean, I guess he's like, he's wearing this scouts on her.

SPEAKER_10 31:04

Sir, that's just one finger. He's like, oh win.

SPEAKER_11 31:06

Hey, he's like, this, this, the finger. This whole time. That's the finger I put in him.

unknown 31:10

Oh god.

SPEAKER_11 31:11

Don't touch that one.

SPEAKER_08 31:11

That's the smelly one. Oh, you got one way to earn a merit badge, man.

SPEAKER_07 31:15

One way to earn a merit badge. You wonder if something really is.

SPEAKER_08 31:17

The airtight merit badge was ours when it earned. Airtight. Um god. The donuts don't tell merit badge. Yeah, I mean, let's I hate the scouts. That's a foul.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

I quit Boy Scouts to watch Say by the Bell of the College Years. I'm not even sure. It interfered the same night.

SPEAKER_08 31:32

I'm like, this show's gonna be on three years. Yeah. They cancelled that after like episode three. But if I escaped you, what if, oh my god, dude. What if I escaped getting molested as like a like an 11-year-old because I'm Zach Bratz? No, Zach Braff. Zach Brackowitz, Morowitz. Brakowitz.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

His original name was the character of Zach Morris, was Zach Brakowitz, and they're like, no one's gonna watch some Jewish show.

SPEAKER_08 32:01

Scrubs hasn't happened yet. This yeah. Isn't that Zach Braff? Yeah. Yeah. Brakowitz. Isn't that where who's the guy from Scrubs? Zach Braff. Yeah, okay. No, Zach Morris is Mark Paul Gossel.

SPEAKER_03 32:12

My mouth moves faster than my head, and it sometimes almost all the time.

SPEAKER_08 32:17

I mean, what if I just like I was I I was Catholic, but I wasn't so Catholic. Yeah. Um I did do the sacraments, but not the one where you get fucked. That was the that's like that's called Second Confession.

SPEAKER_07 32:31

Second Confession.

unknown 32:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 32:32

We've had our first confession. No, but there's a picture of confession, Father. With like the bishop like his hand on my shoulder, and it was just like so and it just looks like really funny actually. Wait, this is a real picture? There's a well, like after the and the confirmation, I'll find it, dude. I'll find it. I'll show well there's a video where I show it and like it's like a I'll tell you the joke. No one's watched it. It's like only on my computer. Okay. I mean the the short comedy video, right? It's hilarious. Yeah, this is the video that the Pope showed you, or the bishop showed you. No, no. It's like, look, this is my close circuit TV in my van. He's like, check this out. Hey, it's really come on, it's why is he a doc wook? Why is it uh are you? Oh, I Moonlies Electric.

SPEAKER_07 33:17

What'd you say in them? Was Andrew? Andy? Uh yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Uh was you uh uh Well, you have a really uh you have a wide mouth.

SPEAKER_07 33:24

Out of Donis really did his work. You ever seen a grown man uh grown priest naked?

SPEAKER_08 33:29

I wish they had that. Like that line that line from Air. No, not all! Yeah, they're just priests, priests are spitting like incredible game on the at the kids. They're just like, hey Mikey, I saw these days you probably have these kids are hard. Yeah, these you really gotta fucking lay it on them these days. I mean, all the all the actors they they watch growing up in their kids' shows are like fucking showing their puss on or they're dead already from overdoses, so it's just like they like they know nothing is sacred. So you really gotta run games.

SPEAKER_10 34:04

Be like, hey Mikey, I saw that jump shot. Buddy, you're working really hard. You know what? You know is a way to take it a take away.

SPEAKER_08 34:11

You want to take the edge off? Take an edge off the stuff. That's probably how you started vaping.

SPEAKER_04 34:15

Why don't you take your pants down? Just let me suck on your penis. You shouldn't be in your penis. Just let me little penis.

SPEAKER_06 34:21

Oh my god, you suck yourself. No! Bless me, Father Fridays. This is my first oh. Oh no, not there.

SPEAKER_07 34:30

Don't touch me there.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

Oh no, Jesus, I can't look at the cross and come at the same time. Can't. Well, you could. I mean, I gotta turn away. It's okay. So just like Judas is scary.

SPEAKER_04 34:43

Whatever. He was a scary guy. Judas? Judas was our scary. That's why they called him Judas Scarius. Because he was the scary.

SPEAKER_05 34:50

I don't know. Aha! Mr.

SPEAKER_08 34:52

Patrick is high. Man, I needed some drugs. Should have brought some. You want some? I got some. Kinda want some. They're within arm's reach. But is that a side? And I don't mean my dick.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Should I have to put my mouth on the same thing that you put your mouth on?

SPEAKER_08 35:05

Maybe. If it was another guy's dick, I would do it, but I've seen you vape. If you I know I lay on the I lay on the shirt. You like really get in there. You vape like a fourth grader on a recorder, dude. It's in my mouth for way too long.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Get in there.

SPEAKER_08 35:22

Either make up your mind. Either take it out or leave it in.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Yeah, you're not good.

SPEAKER_08 35:28

All this fondling is really upsetting me. I just I always had my my my finger on the fifth hole. Alright, so so the joke was Let me play hot cross bonds on your cock. Teacha, teacher.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

Um so it was uh fuck. Um the bishop guy or whoever it was, some guy that uh confirmation me or whatever. Yeah, you had you had his arm on you. Yeah, and so the joke was like, this is me in eighth grade, still the closest I've come to getting laid. Nice. Because I was like a, you know, the I was a virgin, and then in this show I was too. McDaniels.

SPEAKER_07 36:08

McDaniels, go fuck yourself. He's so annoying.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

Oh, he's talking shit. Oh no, that was uh Conley talking shit. Is that A-Rod?

SPEAKER_08 36:15

Yeah, A-Rod's like a Oh, I forgot he's a minority owner. Yeah, it's so weird. That's a weird thing, right? Alright, so okay. Um, yeah, the grinder. So they're doing politics, blah, blah, blah. We'll get back to that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

So I have the ultimate grinder story. Are you ready for this? Yes. I read a story. And the story, and this was a 2020.

unknown 36:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

Come around there. Okay. 2021. Um, so I see this story, and it doesn't really register at first. I don't know if I had clicked on it. It was on the Drudge Report. And it was suddenly like something happened, a guy, a younger man off, got uh lured off Grinder, and then something happened to him.

SPEAKER_10 37:02

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

Fast forward, I'm on uh I'm on Facebook. Uh relative of mine was like, my You're not gonna see this coming. Fast forward.

SPEAKER_08 37:13

I'm on Grinder.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

I'm on Grinder. Where can I get kidnapped to? Uh so this uh a relative of mine was like, help my uh my brother's uh like girlfriends or fiance or whatever's uh friend is missing. And I was like I looked at him and I was like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_08 37:32

So this is what I'm gonna show you. Oh no. This is fucking crazy. I'm not gonna say the name of the person. No, dude. But I know where this is going. You know where this is. You know this story? I just I know this one, but I know where this is going.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

Don't say the name because I don't like, but man that killed this person has the same name as someone else. Man who killed Blake ate his testicles.

SPEAKER_08 37:56

So this person he was my future cousin-in-law, whatever, is that a thing? Her friend, okay. Oh my god. And this is the this is the part that bothered me. Not the cannibalism, not the murder. I mean, yeah, it's okay for the joke, no. So you go to his wedding, and there's a picture, there's like the a memorial table of the grandparents. They were memorialized at a wedding table, and it was like a great oh my god, it was a good one.

SPEAKER_10 38:37

Yeah, and people are like, oh my gosh, what happened?

SPEAKER_02 38:47

I think I didn't have it. Like, do you know what happened again?

SPEAKER_08 38:56

Like, oh that's kind of like the picture. Oh my god, right? And he got like run up like in a fucking horror movie and like yeah, like gutted, and then just only a testicle. He was like twice a guy's age, so it's like don't older guys, man, they're more experienced. You gotta watch that. Holy shit. I mean, what hilarious? Where'd your phone go? We might have lost some we might have lost some audio. Oh no. I think they still heard that was pretty louder. Well, I hope I I hope so. I took whatever.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

I mean, you I saw a picture of the guy that did it, and he was scary.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Did he look like a guy that would eat your testicles? I mean, if you had to pick him out of a lion.

SPEAKER_08 39:54

Can you show me again? Because he was really screepy looking. Oh, well, he was a little unkempt. Jesus. You might expect. I mean, he's gonna look more like Charles Manson. I kind of feel like I should edit my profiles now. Your grinder profiles? Yeah. What would you which picture would you put on that? Probably the fish. Um, I don't like fish. I don't know. I'm easy to catch.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

This one likes giving the hook anyway.

SPEAKER_08 40:21

You gotta dangle, you gotta dangle a dangle a piece of pizza in front of me, and I'm I'm I will I will suck a cock. What do they used to call that? Like queer baiting? That used to be a term. That's not a nice term, but like queer baiting. There's a something something the actual what queer baiting became as a phrase is like when you're like you're like trying to, it's like trying to be gay coded, but you're not actually gay, so you're just like throwing them a granola bar or not granola bar, a trail of breadcrumbs. Why is it a granola bar? If it's gay, you just like nature out. Because they're crunchy. Nature Valley sprinkle thing. Come get it, you gay. I know you're gonna fuck me. You're like, it could go anywhere. Oh my god. Yeah, so like that's what happened. And it was just kind of weird because I'm like, this wedding- I don't already don't want to be at this wedding. And now I have to church, and then it was like it was like a Ukrainian church and stuff, as I was fancy. And now you have now you have thoughts of it's in goddamn Michigan. I just don't want yeah, it's just like j the juxtaposition of my no, this was this like 2022, maybe, because it was after my grandma I had to like when my grandma got like her actual funeral was like her first funeral or whatever. Was during COVID, I had to watch it at that. At that school, no, I was I had to watch it on Zoom in a cubicle at that school we worked at.

SPEAKER_09 41:43

Oh my god. Big old B. Shout out B. Shout out, Big B. Hope that Lego sent treating you right.

SPEAKER_05 41:50

Yeah, and I said. Oh no, I spent a shot up!

SPEAKER_08 41:52

Alright, wearing a mask and a fucking um Let me get I'll get a paper towel. Wearing a mask and a goddamn cubicle at a school making like not a lot of money. It sucked. Yeah, it sucked. I knew I was making like $13 an hour then.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Not that I'm making a lot now. Well. Um But yeah, no, it was uh not great.

SPEAKER_08 42:15

Not great to just think about you know your dead relative because another dead person was on the table. It's like, oh, here's our dead only grandparents, dead grandparents, and then your dead cannibalized friend. It sucked, dude. Well it does.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

I mean it couldn't can you also like the only the the the shitty part about this isn't as as uh Oh that's as uh what's the shitty part as irreverent as we've been this episode and talking about cocks and gay people, like there's people at that wedding that were like I knew that like disgusted by like the act of like oh my god he was gay.

SPEAKER_08 42:51

You think so? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

I mean no one in my family, I don't know what's that.

SPEAKER_08 42:59

I don't think the other one had a dad, so probably I don't think the girl had an active father presence, so I'm sure his side of the family or her side of the family was was corrupted in some way. No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 43:10

Well, I'm not mean to make it.

SPEAKER_08 43:13

Detroit Detroit area people aren't particularly nice people. I didn't mean to make a familiar connection.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

I was more just making uh like a numbers thing of like those probably shitty people that may have heard through the grapevine, and we're like through the grapevine.

SPEAKER_08 43:26

That was the original draft from our heard it through the grapevine. And then Fogerty tried to bring the original.

SPEAKER_06 43:35

Strong em off from his testicles and he cut right down to his nose.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

If you try to eat them all, you go to jail. Then you can't eat no more. Who'd you rather fuck?

SPEAKER_08 44:00

Dorsburk. Dorsburk. Or Dorsburk, for sure. Dorsburg again. Dude, I would fuck Dorsburk every day of my life. Dude, she looks like she.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

I would want her to announce the I would want. And here comes Patrick. Oh, and he's really trying his best here. He's giving a bedroom.

SPEAKER_08 44:19

Dorisburg announcing you prematurely ejaculating his game.

SPEAKER_03 44:22

He's really, oh, and we're already three minutes. Three minutes into the first quarter.

SPEAKER_08 44:26

That's a phonemical moment for me. He I and and looks like we are about done here. We had a Doris Burke sign. Doris Burke. Doris Burke will you marry me in a college. She was doing a college game at MSU. Dude, Doris B. It was the 70s night, so she had this cool wig. Look it up 2004. Doris. Doris Burke MSU versus Indiana. Doris Burke. Wig. It's probably the first phase of the movie. I started this tangent. I'm kidding that I would fuck Doris Burke. Dude, Doris Burke. Dorisburg probably used to be hot shit. Dorsburg has some cannons. Doris Burke. Doris Burke.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

I'm gonna look up Doris Burke.

SPEAKER_08 45:00

Hot. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Do it. Oh, look at that. Oh shit. Oh, okay. Yeah, look at that shit, man. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Yeah, dude. And she knows ball, dude. I mean, I'm she ain't no she ain't no Diana Rossini. She doesn't oh god. See, Doris Burke knows ball and she doesn't eat ball. Diana Rossini in a bikini.

SPEAKER_06 45:22

She's gonna fuck me in my weenie. She's gonna suck me. Teeny teeny. It's so a beady beatty.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

And when I'm done, I'm uh dick bowl wrinkled in Mr. Feeney.

SPEAKER_06 45:34

Yo, Mr.

SPEAKER_10 45:35

Beeny boy meets world.

SPEAKER_08 45:37

Oh, oh, oh the the world of Diana Russini. Alright, so so uh we have to get Roland Taylor in office. Roland! Should we should we work for a reminder just so that we can get we can do the lobbying? Lobbying for Roland Taylor. You're like, hey Roland, so we know that this last He's a middle of the road candidate. Yeah, your last is a last case. He won't murder suicide anyone. It didn't, we didn't quite get the traction we wanted, but we also didn't give up that many, that, that many votes, okay? So I have the best strategy forward to bridge the gap, if you will. And that gap is ass. The ass bridge is gonna bridge the ass gap. And the way we do that is with grinder. What do we salt and now now imagine this salt and pepper endorsement, grinder, town of Herndon, front page news. Is that still a paper? I was in that paper. I was like, you know, like interview with like the seven-year-old quote guy like, I like Beatles or something.

SPEAKER_05 46:39

I was on there.

SPEAKER_08 46:40

I was when I was in the Boy Scouts before. That's how they find the It was the first time. It was the first, it was the first story, not the second. Do you think any Boy Scout has been like in their scout uniform on a little quote and then also turn up dead?

unknown 46:53

Oh.

SPEAKER_08 46:53

Like in the same newspaper.

SPEAKER_03 46:55

Do I understand something fucked up and I tried tried to get to this tangent earlier? Oh. I was watching a Netflix documentary on Boy Scouts and the associated trauma and rampant and fucking fucked up shit in there.

SPEAKER_08 47:10

Which I've experienced some of that shit. Not like I wasn't diddled by an adult, but like That's your real trick. I mean, yeah, definitely passed over.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

I mean, not I mean, I've been passed over by Jewish guys, but not like pass over by Jewish people. You were like miny mode away from molestation.

SPEAKER_08 47:29

They're like, yeah, you, you, you. Not you. He looks whiny. I'm not gonna kill somebody. He looks too whiny for me. Even me. Oh my gosh. Um much do you cost? Too much for me. The picky, the picky the picky, the picky buyer. The picky buyer.

SPEAKER_06 47:50

What's she have?

SPEAKER_08 47:53

He's not weebel's material. I need double D. But back to this uh Boy Scout, Boy Scout trauma dial.

SPEAKER_06 48:01

I like a big fat boy. Um no.

SPEAKER_08 48:04

Someone was talking about their trauma, and he had the first, the same first and last name of a kid that was in my troop. And it was the same one? And it looked like the fucking tenure. I did. Oh, you missed the person. We don't have to say the name. I wasn't quite sure. I honestly wasn't quite sure. Johnny Jenkins!

SPEAKER_09 48:26

Yo, Sam Samerson!

SPEAKER_08 48:29

Johnny Jenkins. Johnny Jenkins, sorry about it. 2006 was a rough year for Johnny Jenkins. Also 2007 through nine. Oh no, did the nuggets lose? Oh yeah. Oh no, I lost like 10 bucks. Down they go! Yeah, that's good. I got the Spurs. I'm gonna destroy the wolves. There's no Anthony Edwards, dude. You think he comes back? No way. He's out for multiple weeks. I think the less having less light in the background is now like weird again. Is it great? I'm weird. Can we go back to talking about Johnny Jenkins? Johnny Jenkins. And then it's like there's that scout song, John J and go hi, Resmitt.

SPEAKER_06 49:07

John Jenkins trauma was my trauma too. Whenever we go out, the Boy Scouts always shout, Don't tell anyone, oh I'll murder your family.

SPEAKER_08 49:19

Especially Mark Jenkins. Don't tell Mark Jenkins I do again.

SPEAKER_06 49:25

Every time you go softer and softer, John Mike Johnson had a little slip. He forgot to close the door. Bobby saw what he saw, and now everyone knows. Master Miller was fucking all the kids toes. Oh no, no, the top.

unknown 49:47

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 49:48

It starts always starts with foot play. That's like exploratory. It starts with foot play. Then it leads to the back door. Oh no. No. Fuck kids. Oh yeah, I'm sure that's my god. This is probably the most we've ever talked about fucking kids in an episode. No, you're no, you're talking about other people like that. Right.

SPEAKER_09 50:06

Of course, hypothetical. This hypothetical. Just take this, the 1%.

SPEAKER_08 50:10

I wasn't.

SPEAKER_09 50:11

1% of your dreams might be about kids.

SPEAKER_08 50:14

But do you really think I avoided getting molested because I quit for me? I mean, you probably, even if it's not molestation, you avoided some other traumatic.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

Like, there's good the why I stuck with scouts was to be like, oh, I'm gonna be an Eagle Scout, was because this weird thing that like my grandfather was in scouts, and then my my cousin.

SPEAKER_08 50:35

My grandfather didn't tell my cousin. Shout out, shout out Gregory, if you happen to be listening to this. Gregory Jenkins! You're about as down as your luck as me, if not worse. Not quite as bad as my Johnny Jenkins. Johnny Jenkins! Johnny Jenkins!

SPEAKER_03 50:53

Um, but it was because of them. It was because of them. And through all my bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Could have been worse, they could have been military, and then you could have all of them, I guess they maybe were. My grandfather wasn't. Alright, but they could have been like, you know, like man, I'll just like fucking danning, and your destiny is to do that.

SPEAKER_08 51:14

Instead of your destiny of dying in war is just to get molested in the scouts and then go to Eagle Scout. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 51:20

I wanna it's like you're gonna make it.

SPEAKER_03 51:22

It's like that uh it's a Rick and Morty bit of like, you beat you beat cancer and went back to the carpet store.

SPEAKER_08 51:29

End of it's like I love that. Just like redefining adversity. Yeah. So you beat Three fingers in the air! You beat molestation and you stayed in Scout. Yeah, I got trauma and don't care. I really wanted my tenderfoot! Oh, Tenderfoot was the Tenderfoot, you go from um I quit at the first like Boy Scout. You go from Scout. Fuck, wait. Give me a second. You go from Scout. Well, no, Cub Scouts had like Bobcat, Tiger, Tiger, Weeblow. Weeblow, and then there's Weblow 2, then you do bridges. Yeah, it's like fucking Weeblow level two. Yeah. V1 V1. When balls drop, you get to go way below two early. It's like the release of a new app chopper. Your first sprout, you get to go to like WebO's two. Dude, you wanna know there's something. And you're in a room by yourself. Wanna know something really fucked up? What?

SPEAKER_03 52:21

I was talking to a former basketball coach who was my well, my basketball coach, where I went to uh grade school.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 52:29

Great well, who I thought was a great guy at the time, was had been previously, or has previously been accused, and I think cleared, but not so much in the sense that, you know, everyone knows. Believes. There's believe cleared, and there's like legal cleared.

SPEAKER_02 52:45

There's like OJ Simpson cleared.

SPEAKER_08 52:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but he was he got accused of some students he taught of like molesting them or like touching them. Plural?

SPEAKER_03 52:53

Yeah, multiple kids.

SPEAKER_08 52:55

That's a tough yeah. That's a tough one. Um but then it looks like it's a lot harder to pay off multiple families.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

Yeah, one in either way. One in in uh you know uh urban Maryland is is is nothing.

SPEAKER_08 53:06

But three of them, they're gonna really clam up together. But if you start spreading your your uh proclivities to the eastern shore, yeah. That's all yeah. But uh I got money out there. I remember talking to this coach, I remember talking to this coach about like, oh I got my first pubic hairs, and like him not him not really him not really shutting down the conversation in the way he really should have. So like He's just like instead of drawing the play on the board, he's just drawing your pubic, but he thinks your pubic's looking like this. He's like, We own zone!

SPEAKER_10 53:37

Yeah, I'm zone.

SPEAKER_08 53:38

Some weird and then want to know something even weirder, he had this like sticker in his head sticker in his red sticker in his car. In his car the inside of his car? He drove me and like saw the inside of his car.

SPEAKER_10 53:52

He drove me and three of our and three of our teammates to a game one time. We drove with Coach Tim and uh Catholic school.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

Shout out to Coach Tim! Coach Tim. You don't know, I think. And his nephew Johnny Jenkins! Johnny Jenkins. Literally using real names here.

SPEAKER_10 54:08

Johnny Jenkins guy. I won't use his last name, but like he told us he was like, Well, I've got this red sticker in the car to like like to remind me to like slow down and to stop at red lights. Where was it?

SPEAKER_08 54:17

I just remember being like There's no way that was for it. It was like his rubber band to not molest. You know he like you wear a rubber band and snap, snap, snap. He broke so many rubber bands, he's like red sticker, fuck it. Dude, I might I may or may not molest Patrick.

SPEAKER_03 54:30

And like me and me and a good buddy of mine who I have seen who I go and visit in summer, um, he's got a great house down in the outside.

SPEAKER_08 54:39

And you see that war target.

SPEAKER_06 54:40

Down in the outer banks, and like we've talked about this guy in hindsight, and we're like, it's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_08 54:45

He still tries to like stay in touch with us, and like wait, what? How much older than he was? Dude, he's he's probably old as shit comparatively the kids that I had working on. He's got like five years on you. Oh, okay. So maybe actually two. I would say two. Well, I don't know, it's kind of I guess it's maybe not. So it's I think it's still it's a little less weird because I've always been so torn. I guess he's a molester, but but possibly, but because Facebook the possible media wasn't around when I would have been in that same.

SPEAKER_10 55:14

But there's fucking you can Google fucking articles about him, and it pops up from like our fucking area of like local teacher, and it's like, dude, I cried- I remember being in like in high school and I found out and I cried.

SPEAKER_08 55:26

I like cried my eyes out. And then it was this guy.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

Because of the red sticker.

SPEAKER_10 55:32

Because of the red, I'm like, oh my god, I gotta stop, I gotta stop. Um literally being like, What the fuck?

SPEAKER_08 55:38

He's like, he's going through this, and I'm like, speech up shit. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02 55:43

I was like sad for him, and then you get over the time we fell in love.

SPEAKER_08 55:48

Do you remember? The twenty first nine of September.

SPEAKER_10 55:58

He could have been a molester.

SPEAKER_00 56:15

Tell me how many are they?

SPEAKER_08 56:25

He's just like in this central circle, he's just drawing pubic hair. It's like, oh my, tell me when. Tell me when, Patrick.

SPEAKER_03 56:33

No, you're gonna do a screen in this direction. Oh, his own out of pubes. He's going, Kieran, you're gonna do a screen in this direction. Puberty on three, won't do. My fucking longest friends I've had in my life were all on the same basketball team with me.

SPEAKER_08 56:48

It's like that movie Sleepers, dude. And I like, I just it's a basketball movie. I loved this guy, man. I'm getting some actual trauma. That's what happens. You fall in love with a person that deflowers your butt. But he unless you're on Grinder, they usually don't fall in love. And it's consensual.

SPEAKER_07 57:08

But he never deflowers.

SPEAKER_08 57:12

I don't think he gets it. Except for maybe Chris. Yeah, Chris. John Nick.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

One time in practice. There's one time one time in practice he told our assistant coach he like was like, nah, are you Nick, Chris, and Matt? You guys go down there and bang around with coach.

SPEAKER_08 57:27

They asked us to bang around.

SPEAKER_10 57:28

Yeah, well, they were working post moves. They were backing it down. Backing that thing up. Back that thing up. Like a defender.

SPEAKER_01 57:38

You guys had a back, you got a back in and he was the defender.

SPEAKER_03 57:42

Back it up. Patrick Bandito.

SPEAKER_08 57:44

Johnny Jenkins, tell me what state it is when I reach up your asshole. It's like the whole practice is Johnny Jenkins trying to take charges.

SPEAKER_10 57:52

Tell me what a Canadian goose sounds like when I'm in your rear.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 57:59

I'm just saying egregious things now. Well, I mean, dude, I really think Save by the Bell, the sequel series Save My Life. I would I think I would kill. Would you have wait, you didn't did you didn't actually get diddled, right? Um, not by Scoutmaster, but by like other scouts, yeah. By other scouts? Yeah. Dudes that made me like jerk off in a treehouse with them and shit.

SPEAKER_10 58:25

Really weird. Were they older though? They were my age.

unknown 58:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 58:31

You guys like jerk off. We're like 12.

SPEAKER_08 58:34

Oh. Some weird shit, dude.

SPEAKER_03 58:35

Stuff that like I haven't even talked about this in therapy yet. Like, and it's some really weird shit. And like the dude that wanted to do that with me and did, it was weird. He would like, oh, let me touch your dick. And it's like, oh, I don't really want you to. No, it's cool. Now you touch mine. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_08 58:52

He made me jerk him off and I didn't want to! Johnny Jenkins is in the corner, like he's a priest now. He's like shaking. He's out. He's actually. Don't tell anybody. Actually, a priest. Johnny Jenkins is? Oh, the guy that jerked me in a tree house. Oh, he jerked you in the tree house. Jerked you in the tree house. Is that quiet as a mouse? Did I also survive because I didn't like get involved in hypnotic? You avoided a lot of shit. My parents wanted to send me to that school. Yeah. They should have. CYA, man. Yeah. Catholic use association.

SPEAKER_09 59:25

Catholic use association gonna still teach you about masturbation.

SPEAKER_08 59:31

I'm like, You got rhymes for days. You know how I wouldn't, you know how I wouldn't. The only reason I wouldn't have been identified as a prospect is because I was the kid that was like one man full court pressing. I was uncoachable. It's like I came in too intense.

SPEAKER_10 59:46

Molested by the worst and best part about no, he would have fucking loved you. You would have been you would have been you would have been raped.

SPEAKER_03 59:55

No, you would have been ass fucked so hard. You like full court pressing?

SPEAKER_10 1:00:00

We weren't, he would get mad at the reps when we weren't allowed when they would bitch at us because once you go up by 10, you can't full court press.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

That sounds like fucking taught us to in Presbyterian whole shit.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:10

I fucking defense. Fuck you. You would have loved this guy. Because I think I'm telling you all this. Well, I'm telling you all this with like there's a part of me that still thinks he's innocent. There's a part of me that's in hindsight. Yeah, Mr. Red Dot.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:25

There's literally a print dot is so why do you need a big red circle on your dashboard to be like this just wants me to stop? But I have too many urges! I gotta stop!

SPEAKER_08 1:00:42

Am I gonna wake the neighbors or something? No, no, no, I mean when they're Louse is playing it. Oh, Louse, sorry. I don't edit anything. I don't care. Sorry, Louse.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

I don't care, Johnny Jenkins. Sorry again.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:53

Hey, Louse, John, Johnny Jenkins, shit's getting blown out.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:56

I'm trying to talk to Louse. Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:59

Louse? Probably it doesn't have scouts, right? I mean they have scouts, but it was for something else. It's like the poppy feeling or whatever.

unknown 1:01:07

You can turn it back up now.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:09

Turn a beat over. And I was like, I was about to make a connecting the dots joke from your like from like which predated the other, like your your uh your basketball coach or the getting jerked in the treehouse.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:24

Um I legitimate on a fully serious note, my love for basketball like came came about because like because of this guy. So it's like it's really kind of fucking double-edged sort of like of loving, like literally never gotten less about this dude, never did anything.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:44

Like he never touched me. He maybe was like maybe was encouraging.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:54

You were talking about a unicare in fifth grade. No one's mad at eye at that!

SPEAKER_08 1:02:00

He he you you gassed him up inadvertently for the other kids he actually allegedly because he gotta use a a name, not his name. It's like fuck.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:12

No, it's thinking about all these little boys. Yes!

SPEAKER_08 1:02:16

I need to touch something! But it was only the pubes that got gassed him up. It's just like if it wasn't for those pubes, he's like the Scooby-Doo villain. If it wasn't for those pubes, he talks like that for some reason.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:29

He's like 27, but he talks like that at the time. Ah, it wasn't if it wasn't for those pubes, I would have got away with so like he wanted to win.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:43

It wasn't for those what was the what's the word they always use? Rascals or something. Rascals.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:49

Damn rascals, those mischievous kids. This is goddamn mischievous.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:54

Goddamn mischievous pubic.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:55

I wouldn't have been in this mess with fucking four charges and no one would bail me out.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:02

That's what assistant coaches are for. Just take the bullet. It's a basic cat package of cash. And the assistant coach was one of the dads of one of the kids on the team. Just stuff 50 bucks in a missile let, and that's how you get your bail money. Open, open your page two. God damn, you're number four in your missile. You know, like fucking St.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

Joe's could probably or St.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:30

Oh, I've ever like, oh I want I could go to the Rebecca. St. Teresa's or St. Jenkins. You know they did at the fucking mass like the week after he was arrested. They were like, and this week's They brought it up? This they probably, it's the fucking Catholic Church, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:47

Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:48

Until they're fucking like our game is postponed. Until it's mandated that they don't support people that are like, well, this week's our goddamn Methodist is postponed. What do they call it? They're like, our our uh some ticky tag bullshit. What do they call it in uh mass when they like get the they they the collection? Yeah, collection. They're like this week's connection. Oh, it's called the whole point of it. You mean those nice areas don't shave themselves. They're so smooth. You mean all the all the glitz and glamour, all the songs on my stained glass, connected to God like without except for my in my own heart or like in quiet moments? Do you actually feel connected to the game? No, it was when I was in Madison Square Garden. Because the ceilings were so the fucking like it's like the slanted like ceilings, it just reminds me of sitting in church moments, oh looking around. You're like, there's something bigger than me out there. Do you actually believe in like a white robed old pedophile, or do you think it's just like a big baby? It's not a pedophile. Come on, dude. He's the the Catholic version of God. Like they don't draw much. If I believe that I don't draw him much. If I believe that I just draw Muhammad, let's be clear. Draw? You're not supposed to draw Muhammad. Well, the only reason I get away with it is because I can't fucking draw. That's another thing I didn't. I haven't got terrorists murked because I can't draw. I quit Boy Scouts because of Say by the Bell. Nice. Dude, I'm just like just dodging bullets left. You wanna know something really fucked up? That same guy that um uh tree allegedly. No, no, no. This this wasn't allegedly.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:19

I was straight up treehouse jerked.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:23

We did a treehouse jerk session in my basement before a DC United game. That I really didn't I didn't want to partake in. He was like, hey, dude, before we go.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:32

Which parts are you know? I'd rather get a treehouse semi-voluntarily than watch an MLS. Before we go, let's go in the basement and let's jerk each other.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:39

I'm like, no, let's say I really don't want to jerk each other.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:43

I just want to go and watch DC United. Why I invited you to this are already being treehouse jerked.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:50

I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:51

DC United has not once you've been jerked in their chance DC United jerk jerk in the basement.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:59

DC United. I didn't jerk him until he comes jerking up.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:03

Panel basement? Or is it like No, it's this. The only time you've been in a furnished basement jerk.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:08

It was on the same the couch in there is definitely vividly. It's got a floral theme.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:14

Oh it's not down there anymore, but yeah, it had a floral theme too. It was blue. Had at least a dozen couple loads in between those cushions.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:22

Some of them are yours.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:24

Some, yeah. Not all of it. I mean only like in the little couple were the tree house jerkers, probably. Oh my god, dude. That's great. Not great. I mean, great's maybe the wrong thing. I should probably hold back some of these. You wanna miss something else?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:38

Because they just keep getting weirder and weirder.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:41

Oh no, no, but like some of these things are normal, like fucking a couch. What about fucking calling like uh with like three other dudes in the basement? They're like calling D. They're like, alright, magic start to fuck the couch. I love that it's like as part of the mission, it's like two guys on duty, finish the job. You're like stimulating the mission, you're the only one left. Like instead of like That's what they would say in Search and Destroy when you're the last one that's like finish it's Captain Price, finish the mission, dude. You're like, fuck, I only got one nut left. Dude, and I was like, oh, the weirdest thing that's ever gonna be said about sex is definitely talking about jerking off possibly at the same time as Mr. Thirsty, and I was immediately one-upped. Dude, I like five up too. Five up?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:32

I don't know when you when you start talking about boy Boy Scout treehouse jerk off station. I just you know what? Dude, that's treehouse though. It was such a cool fucking treehouse, too. But like it scarred me.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:47

You can't even watch a sandbox. They were like, I got cheated! You're not like, man, that was baseball games. It was gonna play with a rector sentence.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:55

We're gonna play with Johnny Jenkins.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:58

It was right by the school. It was in He can't be with 500 people in the tree out anymore. Ow. Ow, that hurt. Stop. Fuck you. No, that is your vapor. No, you're you hit that you hit that spot like five times. That one hurt ten times. I just know that you let people contact you. I do, but the fifth time is when I say stop. That's when my limit's been reached. Yeah, so I just had to go one year further and I would have been just a tree house free for all. No, that was the fifth time. We're doing it's a lot of trees. Now it's a now it's a if I didn't quit camp. I had so it's crazy because like that was a terrible, like Boy Scouts fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:45

If you're in a if you're a Mouse the part is I'm like, I'm telling you about these the treehouse.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:51

The tree house the tree house tapes, and I'm like, I still wanted that Eagle Scout. It was still fun. It was fun? What? Yeah, you're getting jerked off. I didn't get sailing because I couldn't swim enough. I was the only person in the fucking thing. So you didn't get to go sailing because you didn't swim enough? I couldn't swim enough. And it had to do like maybe sealed fucking like swim shit to be able to like go sailing and I'm gonna be. That's like the best week of my life was being. No, not treehouse jerking. That's probably like that's just a right of pass. I mean, everyone does that. I'd say it's top ten. I mean, everyone that can swim gets to advance to that. Right. So you're a good swimmer. All you get to do is pass the swim test. Do you think I would have been a version of 25 if I made it to the next level of voice? Wait, what about what? If I didn't watch Say by the Bell, the collegers. Maybe. It all it all hinged on that, dude. Save by the Bell. Dude, I would have been getting so much ass in dick if I only finished. I jerked quite a few to the Save by the Bell girls. Oh, yeah. And the Zach guy. Zach Alpha Netflix. Yeah! Oh he's like the human version of Scooby-Doo! Dude, when I'm beating off late, I'm still gonna probably masturbate tonight. That's the worst part.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:03

I'm probably not, because we're gonna probably try and I'm gonna try and uh get up for some actually I might, depending on the phone.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

You're gonna be out in the water on the on the north Northern Virginian pond, like man-made pond because you you didn't get up early enough.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:17

And you're like, No, I'm still gonna get it. God, I missed that treatment. I'm just gonna get out there late enough that I'm gonna get pissed off that other people have a hobby and are out there too. I'm like, God damn it, this is my water wave! Fuck you! I literally have to do fucking like fuck you, and this is mine! Leave me alone! Of course you would like pick the I'm so loud tonight. Well, it's fine. I I'll I'll I'm not gonna do it. We're gonna have to dampen that phone. You mean people are really gonna get through like 70 minutes of John Liston? They got to they got to joke. I mean, sorry, not jokes. Also stories. Personal stories. The the close friends of yours that listen to this podcast are gonna be like, man, that he's got some drama.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:02

That's fine, dude. It's great.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:03

If they actually know if they actually know who I am, they'll be like, okay, that tracks. I'm glad you said that. Like Luther Danger's gonna be like, okay. I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:13

That's the thing, is like you know it's like I feel like I don't really I'm at a point in my life where I do not try to.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:18

Right, I'm curious. Like, you live in this like world where you think like people support me. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. Well, but I think part of that is because you are very supportive yourself, and as am I, but it's like, dude, I know so many people, and it's like nobody gives a fuck about anyone.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:34

Deep down, most people do not care about their own friends and their family. They just don't. Well, and I not on a deeper level, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:42

I don't really have I don't really have any friends. I got you, my cousin Jake, who's a good fucking dude. Um, because they all who's gonna tell you his I'm happy to talk about this on air. Jake, I love you. Hopefully, actually, and the slight change. Tell you later. He actually, I probably would be sad if I talked about this. So I'm gonna go ahead and stop it.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:05

But he's he has been dealt a tough tan for some of the loved ones in his life, and he is a fucking good dude. He's a mensch, as they say. He's a fucking great dude. Just a dreamy dreamboat of cum and tons of cum. You know, hopefully she's already got married, right? Well he's a chance.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:24

So hopefully when that when you have a cousin get married, you don't have to see a fucking cannibal victim on the memorial table, dude.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:31

That is that's the only thing that's ever going to be in is Roland Taylor. Or was it like a distant like a distant like oh so like not like a fourth cousin? No, like a cousin. He was the youngest cousin on my um on my mom's side of seven. I'm the oldest. Okay. But that's still like how I mean do I give a shit about it?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:53

No, like how long, how far removed had that happened? He's gonna live. No, before the wedding, like what was the time frame, the time lapse between that incident happening and him being cannibalized? By that point? Do you think he was there any sexual nature to it? Like, did you jerk him, you think, and like suck him before he cut him? Jerk him, cut him, jerk him and suck him.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:18

That's my intro. That's gonna be my intro line. Yeah, suck it, cut it. Unhinged. Yeah, be like, I cut him and suck him. If you I would love for you. Jerk him. You like jerk him, cuck him, suck him, cut 'em. Just feed him. Eat him, feed him, feed him, feed him. Um Bop it. Twist it. Suck it. No, it's like fucking like the movie Hannibal or some shit, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:40

It's just like if Hannibal's like the other guy that Hannibal kills ended up, you know, five years later, he's on fucking grinder or whatever, how many years later, it's like, yeah, like somebody like that.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:52

Are we talking Red Dragon? No, like the Hannibal one where he's just like, that's the one they're just like. It's a mean brains. We're talking uh uh Andrew Cox.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:02

No, not the um not the are we talking Anthony Hopkins? Not the prequel one, the one where he's just like Anthony Hopkins. Yeah, the old one.

SPEAKER_10 1:14:08

I don't know what this weird voice is.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:10

That's not a it's like a Trump doing a developing a weird list that gets. I mean you're you're in you're in full trauma mode, so you're just gonna like do it. You're like voice shit. You're like, you're just gonna Bernie talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:20

I'm just on edibles and Celsius and nicotine, and he's like, welcome on doing three three pounds of everything.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:26

Oh no, Boy Scouts, and then we gotta bring the body back to Russia for vacation.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:30

He may or may not, the the boy who may or may not have molested me in Boy Scouts may or may not be a Catholic priest. The first Boy Scout book was in Arabic.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:39

I wrote it right to left, and then they jerked off guys in a in a trench. Why is it Arabic?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:46

You should Okay, back my mind just went back to this Netflix, this Netflix Arabic. This Netflix doc. This whole time?

SPEAKER_08 1:14:53

Um this Netflix stock, of this Boy Scout Netflix stock, and uh they so much of it is like this dude that they brought in while it was like still shitty. Well it was like the dude they brought they it was the dude they brought in to clean it up, to like clean up the piano. Like the wall.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:10

Like the like fucking pulp fiction. Like the yeah, it's like but this time it is getting their popsicles in the case.

SPEAKER_10 1:15:16

And it's the it's this black dude.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:17

And imagine the the dude from the wire that goes shit. She is like it was same mannerisms, almost the same like weight and body shape, but like crunchy granola. Yo, like crunchy granola. And he's like, listen here, folks. Now, I'm just gonna tell you guys we've got we've got a PR problem on our hands. We've got a relations problem publicly. Now, I cannot tell you. Because publicly you have relations with a man. Yeah, and it was just like he like. He's like fresh off defending Gambler.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:49

Dude, it was so adamant about being like there was those black guys going around defending all these incons unconscionable organizations.

SPEAKER_10 1:15:58

It was just so weird. It was like, and I I I did my due diligence and I told them that this is not gonna be this like this isn't gonna play well, gentlemen, this is not gonna be what we want. And they just kept giving me fluff. And I told them that is not I'm not here to do that. I'm here to protect scouts. No, are we really protecting scouts?

SPEAKER_08 1:16:18

If if we have a if we have if we basically have a project paper clip of boys we fucked and sucked, no, we we don't wait. They had like a detective board. They had literally the Boy Scouts had files of all of their predators that they moved around like the fucking orcas of sh fucking seaborns. So like, so they only were or only shout out to Bel was a Belberg reference.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:42

Only things that get moved around, yeah, it's just like were the military people who couldn't do anything and couldn't file papers. I was like, oh, send out the fucking wherever.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:52

Um scouts that got scout masters that were like, dude, you seriously, some of the writing that was like.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:00

Dude, it was so fucked up. And it's like the there was scouts that would like just disappear in these like early days. And then they would hire like at the camps? Yeah, they'd be like, yeah, like so.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:12

I would know because I got siphoned into the only person by myself. There was a parent, it was the same parent of the kid who ripped off my our mailbox and threw it for me when he was so mad at me after be each week, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:17:25

Who charge you like drown you?

SPEAKER_08 1:17:26

No, no, the dad was felt bad that I was the only I was literally two feet of water splashed around like a fucking bathtub. And then there was a copperhead snake, dude. I'm serious, I was just like, I was like, uh uh. Yeah, scout camp, yeah. Or cup was it Cup Scouts? And there was like persuasive dads, you're gonna love this camp. And then it was just sailing. That was such a shit. And then I cried the entire week alone, like at the late in the latrine. I would never ever using leaves as tissues, right? I've like convinced myself that. And I thought that was the worst thing at that time that could happen in scouts, and apparently that's like the best thing that could happen. Yeah, you're living the dream, buddy. Yeah, almost getting bit by a snake. How about almost getting your dick sucked when you don't want to? Almost? And still coming. Bye.